addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
Hold on
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
tagboard ;
guestbook
But you don’t, you don’t have to go
You’re feeling sad you’re feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
You’re mother’s gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bare
But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go through
Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know
Your days you say they’re way too long
And your nights you can’t sleep at all
And you’re not sure what you’re looking for
But you don’t want to no more
And you’re not sure what you’re waiting for
But you don’t want to no more
But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through
Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know
Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...hold on
Been a long time since I've done this whole highlighting in different font colours and differing font sizes thing. Seems so secondary school-ish. Eeeee..
Mid March already. Holidays are almost over. Still a lot of undone homework.
Ironic how your greatest strength can be your greatest weakness all at the same time. I want it all to be perfect. Every single day, hour, minute, second ... I don't want to make mistakes. I don't want to fall short. I don't want to feel inadequate or let myself slack. I don't want any of that. I cannot tolerate it. But it's inevitable that some days I just cannot be that person. Well every day actually...
Lance Armstrong once said, "I don't want to lose. At all." Guess he was a perfectionist as well... The biggest difference between him and I is probably his VO2 max. Hah.
I think endorphins are dangerous. As addictive as ecstacy. They even come with withdrawal symptoms. The whole package. Now I wish I could be that happy everyday of my life (: The feeling's so magical, so enjoyable. I never knew I was even capable of feeling that good.
Well actually the past few days have been pretty good. I found IT. IT- the thing i've been looking for so many months... The craving, the want, the passion, the happiness. I just hope (really really hard) that it doesn't go away. Especially with all the school work piling up. I miss IT. I miss driving myself to go so hard that I feel like I could collapse and die at the finish line. I really really really miss that.
Looking forward to doing it more often (:
To PamCatPrawn (if you are reading this): Jiayou for mugging. Miss our secret "morning outings" every Tuesday. Miss your violent laughter. Miss your neverending supply of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and "Family Guy" episodes. I await the day you can use your murder weapon tendon hammer with precision. (I promise I will try not to run away when you are fully certified) LOL. Also await the day you can give me a medical checkup without diagnosing me with crazy heart problems. When you're feeling lazy, sniff the anatomical snuffbox (hurhur I still remember where that is!) and I bet you will feel wide awake immediately (: HAHA remember the diagrams of my throat that I drew on the hotel notepad when I had laryngitis? HAHAHA. SO HILARIOUS. "Do you think I have something stuck in my throat?" LOL. AYEE MISHH YOUU. Take care PCP! (PamCatPrawn)